Three Simple Questions

How changing a no to a yes changed my life

Twenty years ago, I was several months into an early-onset midlife crisis when three simple questions changed my life.

I sat in the second row of a Contemporary Christian folk rock concert watching college-age kids discover a band I’d know for half their lives. I closed my eyes so I could focus on the tunes and not the age gap.

During intermission, a group promoted an opportunity to teach overseas. I knew a person in the group, had a hint as to its end goal, but was already convinced it would be nothing more than a long advertisement before the band returned.

I watched the video filled with smiling faces and exotic locations. I’ve taken enough film and television classes to know how to manipulate viewers with visuals and just the right music. I vowed as I watched that I would not be subconsciously manipulated by this heart-tugging video.

What I didn’t plan for was a conscious manipulation by the Holy Spirit. He’s a tricky one.

At the end of the video, three questions popped up on the screen.

Do you love adventure? Yes.

Do you enjoy being around college-age students? Yes.

Do you want to teach in China? No.

The group passed out information cards. I held it in my hands and looked around at all the faces, much younger faces. Faces that belonged to people still in college, and I’d already had a fifteen-year career.

Two-thirds of me was intrigued by the idea. But that one-third was a strong holdout. China. Of all the places, why China?

It really seemed like a no-brainer that this whole adventure was a no-go for me. I looked at the card again. That nagging little voice said fill it out, so I did. However, I added a caveat in the comment section. I told the organizers I understood by holding this event on a college campus they were obviously looking for young people, but if they felt an older person had a place, let me know.

A month later, they reached out. Several months and interviews later, I was selling my midlife Monte Carlo red Honda Accord and moving back home with my parents for my final few months in the States.

This June marks the 20^th anniversary of the summer before I moved to China. I am so much older now, and if I’m lucky, at least a bit wiser. I spent that summer meeting up with family, catching up with friends, and preparing to leave them all behind.

My anxiety was high, but my excitement was even higher. I thought, this will be the most exciting year of my life as I packed my bags to head overseas.

I didn’t know as I met other teachers that summer that it actually would be five exciting years and they would continue be some of my closest friends.

If I hadn’t gone to that concert, heard that message, read those questions, filled out that card, not only would my life be different, but I would be different.

Getting out of my comfort zone changed me, forced me to grow in ways I didn’t even know I needed to grow. Being willing to change a no to a yes, changed my entire world view and my life forever.

I lived in China for five years. I suffered from reverse culture shock for a year upon returning in 2011. I reacclimated to life in the States while holding on to the lessons I learned, the lifestyle I wanted to live.

When friends and family were worn weary from hearing my stories for the umpteenth time, they encouraged me to write a book. I collected emails, videos, journals, and letters, and wove them into my memoir, Unbound Feet: Finding Freedom in Communist China. It was published in 2021.

There are days I feel I’ve actually done more in the second half of my life than the first half. Granted, that may be expecting too much from elementary school me.

What question is waiting for you to say yes to?